Reality

Yep.. it bites. Not only that. it chews and spits you out in a mess of tangled guts and gore. You won't even recognise yourself.

It's bout 0430am in SIN now. Here i am in the CPT hotel.. typing this. Spent 2 days thinking bout this whole issue. I love looking, taking pics and generally being near oceans, beaches, mountains and such. There is total serenity at such places i can sit there forever.

Today at Table Mountain, i talked to God. Haven't done so for a long long long time. I prayed and left it in His hands. And before the day ended, He atually sent me signs. Guess i should upload the pics to elaborate.

Thought bout a lot to say on the way back. But... right now i guess there's really no point. I'm tired. Tired of you not walking the talk. Tired of half-truths. Tired of your indecisiveness. Tired that... even when i'm willing to give in and wait indefinitely, you're still so unfair to me.

If something or someone is impt enough to you.. There's no such thing as 'it slipped my mind'. Don't agree? Too bad then. This is the last time I'm gonna blog about him. It's gonna be a long entry with the add-ons though. Yep.. I should move on. This is not the 1st time and I'm guessing it won't be the last.

I feel almost angry when i re-read all the 'i don't wanna be unfair to u' followed by the 'i miss u's. If it's not so juxtaposed i might even believe them. I really really hope that by the time I go back i'll have normalized. I'll have deleted all your msgs from my hp and it'll all be forgotten in a few months.

I never told you bout what people said bout u. I didn't cos I know u'd jump. N i chose to see and judge for myself. In case u're wondering, no i didn't go around telling people bout us. They see photos and start asking and telling me things bout u and ur gf.

On the journey back.. I imagined how it would be like if i were to see you in the briefing room again. I would.... go up and introduce myself all over again. I would.. simply becos... right now... u're nothing like the person i met, thought was a nice guy and eventually fell for.

P/S: Ur 400 bucks shirt was put to good use. Isn't it?