Yep.. it bites. Not only that. it chews and spits you out in a mess of tangled guts and gore. You won't even recognise yourself.
It's bout 0430am in SIN now. Here i am in the CPT hotel.. typing this. Spent 2 days thinking bout this whole issue. I love looking, taking pics and generally being near oceans, beaches, mountains and such. There is total serenity at such places i can sit there forever.
Today at Table Mountain, i talked to God. Haven't done so for a long long long time. I prayed and left it in His hands. And before the day ended, He atually sent me signs. Guess i should upload the pics to elaborate.
Thought bout a lot to say on the way back. But... right now i guess there's really no point. I'm tired. Tired of you not walking the talk. Tired of half-truths. Tired of your indecisiveness. Tired that... even when i'm willing to give in and wait indefinitely, you're still so unfair to me.
If something or someone is impt enough to you.. There's no such thing as 'it slipped my mind'. Don't agree? Too bad then. This is the last time I'm gonna blog about him. It's gonna be a long entry with the add-ons though. Yep.. I should move on. This is not the 1st time and I'm guessing it won't be the last.
I feel almost angry when i re-read all the 'i don't wanna be unfair to u' followed by the 'i miss u's. If it's not so juxtaposed i might even believe them. I really really hope that by the time I go back i'll have normalized. I'll have deleted all your msgs from my hp and it'll all be forgotten in a few months.
I never told you bout what people said bout u. I didn't cos I know u'd jump. N i chose to see and judge for myself. In case u're wondering, no i didn't go around telling people bout us. They see photos and start asking and telling me things bout u and ur gf.
On the journey back.. I imagined how it would be like if i were to see you in the briefing room again. I would.... go up and introduce myself all over again. I would.. simply becos... right now... u're nothing like the person i met, thought was a nice guy and eventually fell for.
P/S: Ur 400 bucks shirt was put to good use. Isn't it?
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I Found It
I swear I'm too damn fucking smart for my own good. And nope I don't mean it in a self-aggrandization manner.
Maybe I should start fueling anger. So it's easier for me. Sigh... Been sighing so many times I know all my angels are dying. =(
I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT.
You say you don't make empty promises. And yet you promised to be loving everyday. All the best to you.
Yay my camera's ready. I wonder if i brought enough cash.. I doubt there's anything much to buy there... right? My handbag is bursting! Need to stuff in my wallet, ipod, money pouch, camera, notebook, sweets and some makeup. I need to reorganise.
Which reminds me. I better go requisite new uniforms and safety shoes. But i haven't figured out how to do MTM shoes. Hmmm... Must remember to ask all the nice people later =) I am so going shopping in LA. Retail therapy.
Maybe I should start fueling anger. So it's easier for me. Sigh... Been sighing so many times I know all my angels are dying. =(
I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT.
You say you don't make empty promises. And yet you promised to be loving everyday. All the best to you.
Yay my camera's ready. I wonder if i brought enough cash.. I doubt there's anything much to buy there... right? My handbag is bursting! Need to stuff in my wallet, ipod, money pouch, camera, notebook, sweets and some makeup. I need to reorganise.
Which reminds me. I better go requisite new uniforms and safety shoes. But i haven't figured out how to do MTM shoes. Hmmm... Must remember to ask all the nice people later =) I am so going shopping in LA. Retail therapy.
Numb
My eyes were so swollen when I woke up this morning that I couldn't even open them. Haven't had that kind of feeling for a long long long time. Pretty much slept the whole day with ice packs on them. Now they're much better though can still see a bit of swelling.
Tummy seems to be going on strike. Everytime i try putting food in it comes out real quick. But surprisingly the gastric doesn't set in. Oh well.. good time to go on diet i supposed. Make the best out of it. I should drink lots of water. Lemme go down and get a bottle first.
Back. Arghh my camera is still charging. Sigh.. forgot to plug it in this morning. Hmmm i couldn't do anything this morning though. I hope it finishes in time. But i need a new camera anyway. This one churns out blurry pics even in the anti-shock mode. Siao siao wan.
Went to change money just now. I think I should bring more cash. DBS called and said my card has been compromised overseas and not to use it for the time being. Damn! How to shop in TPE and LAX?? *sob* Everyone hates me. Nothing is going for me at the moment. Sigh... I hope they replace it real soon. Like.. by the time i come back from CPT.
I noticed something funnie. I don't have commas in my sentences at all. Wahahaha okie. Silly.
Went past the medical hall and saw a "drink for cough" so bought one. Don't even know if it works. Don't ask me why i still do it. This means I must see him to pass it to him later. Prolly go Control earlier to do my stuff and then go up meet him.
I really dunno what to do. I meant that as in.. I know what to do. But it's gonna be tough and I don't want to. Maybe it's the same for him. I'll try.
解脱是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走我有自由好好过
解脱是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔
我总会实现一个梦
Will my own "Happily Ever After" happen?
Tummy seems to be going on strike. Everytime i try putting food in it comes out real quick. But surprisingly the gastric doesn't set in. Oh well.. good time to go on diet i supposed. Make the best out of it. I should drink lots of water. Lemme go down and get a bottle first.
Back. Arghh my camera is still charging. Sigh.. forgot to plug it in this morning. Hmmm i couldn't do anything this morning though. I hope it finishes in time. But i need a new camera anyway. This one churns out blurry pics even in the anti-shock mode. Siao siao wan.
Went to change money just now. I think I should bring more cash. DBS called and said my card has been compromised overseas and not to use it for the time being. Damn! How to shop in TPE and LAX?? *sob* Everyone hates me. Nothing is going for me at the moment. Sigh... I hope they replace it real soon. Like.. by the time i come back from CPT.
I noticed something funnie. I don't have commas in my sentences at all. Wahahaha okie. Silly.
Went past the medical hall and saw a "drink for cough" so bought one. Don't even know if it works. Don't ask me why i still do it. This means I must see him to pass it to him later. Prolly go Control earlier to do my stuff and then go up meet him.
I really dunno what to do. I meant that as in.. I know what to do. But it's gonna be tough and I don't want to. Maybe it's the same for him. I'll try.
解脱是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走我有自由好好过
解脱是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔
我总会实现一个梦
Will my own "Happily Ever After" happen?
Monday, February 25, 2008
Extremities
I'm always amazed at how I can be so happy at one moment and yet be plunged into ice cold water the next.
Why do people always like giving me things they gave to other people also? Why?
Gonna be heading to Cape Town tmrw night. Am happy I found kakis to go sightseeing with. Will take my mind off things. He wants to have a chat to be fair to me. Suddenly I feel scared. Cos deep in my heart I know if it comes to this one day, I won't win.
So I was just deluding myself. Thinking that with time and happier moments things will change. They never used to. So y do i think things will be different? Different guy? Sad to say, and this is NOT a generalisation but it's through experience, that guys really are pretty much the same.
I know you'd say every relationship is different. Every person is unique but yup unfortunately, they always go the same way.
Onto happier things.. Must remember to charge camera either tonight or tmrw. Then must change money. Apparantly it's light load going up and most of the crew doing PEN just now are on the link flight. They're nice.. I hope it stays that way.
Maybe i haven't worked for some time. Such a short period and I feel tired. Or maybe.. I'm just tired and not just physically. Oh well... Have to go shower and meet to talk. By the way.. If u asked her to take down or privatise her blog, you didn't have to.
Why do people always like giving me things they gave to other people also? Why?
Gonna be heading to Cape Town tmrw night. Am happy I found kakis to go sightseeing with. Will take my mind off things. He wants to have a chat to be fair to me. Suddenly I feel scared. Cos deep in my heart I know if it comes to this one day, I won't win.
So I was just deluding myself. Thinking that with time and happier moments things will change. They never used to. So y do i think things will be different? Different guy? Sad to say, and this is NOT a generalisation but it's through experience, that guys really are pretty much the same.
I know you'd say every relationship is different. Every person is unique but yup unfortunately, they always go the same way.
Onto happier things.. Must remember to charge camera either tonight or tmrw. Then must change money. Apparantly it's light load going up and most of the crew doing PEN just now are on the link flight. They're nice.. I hope it stays that way.
Maybe i haven't worked for some time. Such a short period and I feel tired. Or maybe.. I'm just tired and not just physically. Oh well... Have to go shower and meet to talk. By the way.. If u asked her to take down or privatise her blog, you didn't have to.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Honey's Blog
Honey..
Do you know i actually teared when I was reading your posts? Somehow the emotions seem so raw. The feelings so intense. And despite it being in Chinese and all.. I really understood. It reminded me...
I dunno why but sometimes.. perhaps of out boredom or maybe i'm really sadistic. I like to read past conversations, emails, letter's i've written but never posted to him. It never fails to evoke immense sadness and hurt. Never.
I forgot when it was that I stopped thinking bout him, her and everything it encompassed. I forgot when was it that I last talked about him to someone. I forgot when it was that i felt as if i had a knife plunged repeatedly where my heart lies. I forgot how I swore never to let him get close again. I forgot when was it that I fell so hard. I forgot who was it that picked me up. I forgot how it felt to stay awake knowing he was asleep somewhere with someone else. I forgot how it felt to want to sleep all day and never wake up.
I think he forgot too.
I wonder why despite everything we can still be friends. I wonder why I gave him chance after chance. I wonder if it really all happened for a reason. I wonder what it was that I have to learn from this. I wonder why people say time will heal. It still hurts when I recall. I wonder why i act like nothing happened. I wonder why i did all those things in the first place. I wonder why it seems like i'm putting myself in the same position again. I wonder how he could have forgiven himself.
I wonder how could he have forgotten.
It seems like everything is a facade now. All the starting over again and getting to know one another. We fall back into old habits all the time. You can call it being comfortable. You can say it's a vicious cycle repeating itself. How do I know? How can you tell? How do you cut a person out without wondering if he's really changed? How do you tell if he has?
I don't harp on it anymore cos I kept telling myself I have to move on. It doesn't matter where I go. Doesn't matter where i end up. I just need to keep moving. And it seems i'm pushing myself further and further into the deep end. At times I feel like i've changed. When days are bad i feel like i've changed for the worse.
Things that I never could accept I begin to tolerate. Things that I wouldn't have done seem more logical now. Is it being more open-minded or losing youself? I like to think that the world balances on shades of gray. There's dark grey, normal grey, light grey and so on.. And yet certain times I feel that there're some universal truths. Some things that are 100% black or white.
But.. by whose definition? Yours? Mine? The New Testament? God?
Sometimes i miss going to church. I miss the peace i feel. With myself and with the world. I felt loved. Not the kind that any Tom, Dick or Harry can give. But I'm afraid of going back. Why? I can't really say. Maybe it's because I gave up. I couldn't see it happening. Or not fast enough. Or not the ending that I wanted. *Ryan would cut in now and say it's the devil!*
I'm grateful. For all the people that came into my life and made it better. Especially during that period. I love my parents.. for how they supported me financially and emotionally. I will never forget. It might be buried real deep under but it'll always be a part of me. I guess the only thing i can do is to not let it become a part of my future. I always always make this mistake. Maybe some things really are better left unsaid.
I remember why I used to like Chinese.
Do you know i actually teared when I was reading your posts? Somehow the emotions seem so raw. The feelings so intense. And despite it being in Chinese and all.. I really understood. It reminded me...
I dunno why but sometimes.. perhaps of out boredom or maybe i'm really sadistic. I like to read past conversations, emails, letter's i've written but never posted to him. It never fails to evoke immense sadness and hurt. Never.
I forgot when it was that I stopped thinking bout him, her and everything it encompassed. I forgot when was it that I last talked about him to someone. I forgot when it was that i felt as if i had a knife plunged repeatedly where my heart lies. I forgot how I swore never to let him get close again. I forgot when was it that I fell so hard. I forgot who was it that picked me up. I forgot how it felt to stay awake knowing he was asleep somewhere with someone else. I forgot how it felt to want to sleep all day and never wake up.
I think he forgot too.
I wonder why despite everything we can still be friends. I wonder why I gave him chance after chance. I wonder if it really all happened for a reason. I wonder what it was that I have to learn from this. I wonder why people say time will heal. It still hurts when I recall. I wonder why i act like nothing happened. I wonder why i did all those things in the first place. I wonder why it seems like i'm putting myself in the same position again. I wonder how he could have forgiven himself.
I wonder how could he have forgotten.
It seems like everything is a facade now. All the starting over again and getting to know one another. We fall back into old habits all the time. You can call it being comfortable. You can say it's a vicious cycle repeating itself. How do I know? How can you tell? How do you cut a person out without wondering if he's really changed? How do you tell if he has?
I don't harp on it anymore cos I kept telling myself I have to move on. It doesn't matter where I go. Doesn't matter where i end up. I just need to keep moving. And it seems i'm pushing myself further and further into the deep end. At times I feel like i've changed. When days are bad i feel like i've changed for the worse.
Things that I never could accept I begin to tolerate. Things that I wouldn't have done seem more logical now. Is it being more open-minded or losing youself? I like to think that the world balances on shades of gray. There's dark grey, normal grey, light grey and so on.. And yet certain times I feel that there're some universal truths. Some things that are 100% black or white.
But.. by whose definition? Yours? Mine? The New Testament? God?
Sometimes i miss going to church. I miss the peace i feel. With myself and with the world. I felt loved. Not the kind that any Tom, Dick or Harry can give. But I'm afraid of going back. Why? I can't really say. Maybe it's because I gave up. I couldn't see it happening. Or not fast enough. Or not the ending that I wanted. *Ryan would cut in now and say it's the devil!*
I'm grateful. For all the people that came into my life and made it better. Especially during that period. I love my parents.. for how they supported me financially and emotionally. I will never forget. It might be buried real deep under but it'll always be a part of me. I guess the only thing i can do is to not let it become a part of my future. I always always make this mistake. Maybe some things really are better left unsaid.
I remember why I used to like Chinese.
I Wanna Watch Movie..
Hmm been missing a lot of shows I've wanted to watch. CJ7, Ah Long, Away From Her, Kung Fu Dunk and now L: Change the World. =(
Yeah yeah I know they're still screening but.. everyone has watched them! And i don't wanna watch movie alone. Guess i'll just get the dvds then. *pout* =(
你好溫柔喔我就是不能這樣
Wahhhhhhhhh first time someone say that about me lah. From a girl that is. Well when push comes to shove you will do it. If you really care about the person and want the person to be happy, u'd rather be the unhappy one. Right?
Anyway.. I met Jo for lunch today hehe. Haven't met in a while. New job's going well and I'm happy for you dear! She asked me sthg which really stunned me. "When are you gonna really settle down with someone ah?"
*speechless*
Coming from Jo, that's serious. This is my best friend whom I meet every couple of months (well in the past but i try harder now =p) and each time she has a new boyfriend. I can never keep up with the names. But anyhow that's what she and Witty think bout me too. Wahahaha...
Shyan did his little talk with me just now. I guess we're both okay. Both feel free-er as he puts it. Maybe a bit relieved too but no one will come right out and admit it. I still care for him he's still a great friend and I never want that to change. I don't hate him and thankfully he doesn't hate me either.
He asked me how I feel bout it all and I honestly think that.. Perhaps it was the wrong timing. Maybe we're both not ready. And if we had put in a little extra effort on both sides we might have made it. The fact is we didn't. You know how brutally honest I can be and... I can be with him and yet I can also live without him. But from now till the future we've been talking about, I dunno how to get there.
Sounds totally cliched but life goes on. I'm glad we're still friends. And of the times we've talked recently he's always been the one initiating conversations and smses. And for that I'm really grateful. I haven't forgotten all the 3am weeping calls and how you're always there for me. Like i said earlier it's my loss. After everything that has happened, you could have hated me. You have ample reasons to but you didn't. And i really loved you for that.
I'm sorrie I didn't exactly reply your last posting. Well 1 of the reasons was cos I couldn't. I forgot the ID and password and too embarassed to admit. But more so cos.. I dunno what to say. Or where to start.
Anyway it's not like he's gonna see this. In fact none of our circle of friends know about this. This blog is just an out-pouring of how I feel bout things and people around me. So that one day.. I can look back and recollect how I felt at that moment. Yup.. when my fish's memory fails me as usual.
Did some shopping today. Bought earrings, cough drops and some vouchers. =) Hmm interesting kind of vouchers. And duvet cover for Bro. Hmm then now I have to look for a flight to bring it...
2320 already.. =( I feel robbed of my time.
Yeah yeah I know they're still screening but.. everyone has watched them! And i don't wanna watch movie alone. Guess i'll just get the dvds then. *pout* =(
你好溫柔喔我就是不能這樣
Wahhhhhhhhh first time someone say that about me lah. From a girl that is. Well when push comes to shove you will do it. If you really care about the person and want the person to be happy, u'd rather be the unhappy one. Right?
Anyway.. I met Jo for lunch today hehe. Haven't met in a while. New job's going well and I'm happy for you dear! She asked me sthg which really stunned me. "When are you gonna really settle down with someone ah?"
*speechless*
Coming from Jo, that's serious. This is my best friend whom I meet every couple of months (well in the past but i try harder now =p) and each time she has a new boyfriend. I can never keep up with the names. But anyhow that's what she and Witty think bout me too. Wahahaha...
Shyan did his little talk with me just now. I guess we're both okay. Both feel free-er as he puts it. Maybe a bit relieved too but no one will come right out and admit it. I still care for him he's still a great friend and I never want that to change. I don't hate him and thankfully he doesn't hate me either.
He asked me how I feel bout it all and I honestly think that.. Perhaps it was the wrong timing. Maybe we're both not ready. And if we had put in a little extra effort on both sides we might have made it. The fact is we didn't. You know how brutally honest I can be and... I can be with him and yet I can also live without him. But from now till the future we've been talking about, I dunno how to get there.
Sounds totally cliched but life goes on. I'm glad we're still friends. And of the times we've talked recently he's always been the one initiating conversations and smses. And for that I'm really grateful. I haven't forgotten all the 3am weeping calls and how you're always there for me. Like i said earlier it's my loss. After everything that has happened, you could have hated me. You have ample reasons to but you didn't. And i really loved you for that.
I'm sorrie I didn't exactly reply your last posting. Well 1 of the reasons was cos I couldn't. I forgot the ID and password and too embarassed to admit. But more so cos.. I dunno what to say. Or where to start.
Anyway it's not like he's gonna see this. In fact none of our circle of friends know about this. This blog is just an out-pouring of how I feel bout things and people around me. So that one day.. I can look back and recollect how I felt at that moment. Yup.. when my fish's memory fails me as usual.
Did some shopping today. Bought earrings, cough drops and some vouchers. =) Hmm interesting kind of vouchers. And duvet cover for Bro. Hmm then now I have to look for a flight to bring it...
2320 already.. =( I feel robbed of my time.
Back To Work
Yeah it's the last day. Got up bright and ermmm not so early but hey i slept 3 hrs?
Played mahjong with Denise, her mom and Aunt Jenny yesterday. Habibi played for Denise when she went out for a while. He 'zha hu' for the 1st time ever! I didn't even notice haha. Poor thing...
Hmmm dunno what to do or say regarding the whole situation but.. I guess I just wanna be happy. And I want him to be happy. And it actually scares me how happy I am with him cos it means that conversely I'm gonna feel pretty damn upset when he's gone or not available.
Sometimes i wonder if it's just wishful thinking on my part. When he's with me I really am convinced that he wants to be with me? But when he's not I start to wonder again. Arghh.. Gonna practise what I preach. Live for the moment.
Onto less depressing stuff.
I want a Miumiu Coffer in Cream! Reese Witherspoon has it. Hmm quite some time back but i think it's such a classic!
Mummy offered to pay half. So cute right... But then again.. Remind me why i need so many bags? =p
Saturday, February 23, 2008
My Nails...
Holidays are over. Booohoooooo...
Just went down to soak off my 3D nails. OC was on mc and then Sandra also called in sick! Then bo bian had to ask OC to come down. Feel a bit guilty though. =p
My 3D nail art flowers with purple and silver glitter plus yellow and silver diamantes.
And then OC asked me what I wanna do. Hmmmmm.. So i settled for a design on the display. Then i realised she had it on her nails too! Butbut.. mine came out nothing like the one on display and her own. The other 2 were more intricate. Oh well.. she's sick lah never mind.
My left hand. Ehhh thumb has a butterfly. The rest i dunno how to describe.
Okie my palm looks retarded cos I wanna show the crown/wheel on my thumb!
Okie then ask me how much is the damage. I honestly have no idea? I just signed on my package and left. They'll let me know again. But i'm guessing upwards of 210. =p Actually regretting a bit. Should have stuck to the black and purple thingy I wanted to do. Ah sigh.. There's always the next set.
I Did It
Well sort of i guess. Sigh..
Why do I always find it so hard to break it off? How do you stop caring for a person suddenly? When you know the person has someone else and don't need you to? Perhaps. Anyhow I will keep reminding myself that.
You keep saying it's different. You keep saying it's difficult. You keep saying we don't understand. Maybe we really don't. Then we shall just leave it as that. You want something but you're not willing to give up something else. I'm even willing to share but? There's always a but.
What am I to do with you?
I give up.
Edited to add: I just saw some of the FRA JFK pics. Nice. I hate you.
You say pics don't tell everything? Well remember what I said about perceptions? If it looks like a cow, smells like a cow and tastes like a cow then 10/10 people will say it's a cow!
Why do I always find it so hard to break it off? How do you stop caring for a person suddenly? When you know the person has someone else and don't need you to? Perhaps. Anyhow I will keep reminding myself that.
You keep saying it's different. You keep saying it's difficult. You keep saying we don't understand. Maybe we really don't. Then we shall just leave it as that. You want something but you're not willing to give up something else. I'm even willing to share but? There's always a but.
What am I to do with you?
I give up.
Edited to add: I just saw some of the FRA JFK pics. Nice. I hate you.
You say pics don't tell everything? Well remember what I said about perceptions? If it looks like a cow, smells like a cow and tastes like a cow then 10/10 people will say it's a cow!
Friday, February 22, 2008
101%? Or Keep Options Open?
This question has been bugging me a lot recently.
I used to think that no one should go into a relationship thinking this is it. I'm gonna marry this person. Being humans, we easily disappoint and get disappointed too. In that sense you're setting yourself up for a fall isn't it? What if several months down the road you realise you're incompatible? Colin was a case in point.
On the other hand.. Do you give the relationship a fair chance to work out if you're carrying that mentality? Is it a self-fulfiling prophecy? Are you always on a search for better-newer-faster so much so that you've neglected what you already have? So when is it gonna stop? It's just like at Chatuchat. The deeper you go the more stores selling the same thing at a lower price. But by the time you get to the heart of it all you might have gotten lost.
And that's how I feel. Lost.
I'm not dying to get hitched. In fact if you really know me, you know i feel I can take care of myself physically and financially. So if someone can't handle the emotional part then what's the point?
I'm not trying to prove anything. I just feel disgruntled that I don't have a chance. A fair shot to see if we're even compatible. We might not be and several months later you might regret leaving her. But that's a risk we all have to take.
I'm not this bitch that likes to tear people apart. You of all people should know how you feel and what you've told me. Maybe you're just not ready for change. Maybe she's not the one clinging on. Maybe it's you. Maybe it was just infatuation. Something new.
把手放开不问一句 Say Goodbye
当作最后一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡 今后都不管
只要你能愉快
I used to think that no one should go into a relationship thinking this is it. I'm gonna marry this person. Being humans, we easily disappoint and get disappointed too. In that sense you're setting yourself up for a fall isn't it? What if several months down the road you realise you're incompatible? Colin was a case in point.
On the other hand.. Do you give the relationship a fair chance to work out if you're carrying that mentality? Is it a self-fulfiling prophecy? Are you always on a search for better-newer-faster so much so that you've neglected what you already have? So when is it gonna stop? It's just like at Chatuchat. The deeper you go the more stores selling the same thing at a lower price. But by the time you get to the heart of it all you might have gotten lost.
And that's how I feel. Lost.
I'm not dying to get hitched. In fact if you really know me, you know i feel I can take care of myself physically and financially. So if someone can't handle the emotional part then what's the point?
I'm not trying to prove anything. I just feel disgruntled that I don't have a chance. A fair shot to see if we're even compatible. We might not be and several months later you might regret leaving her. But that's a risk we all have to take.
I'm not this bitch that likes to tear people apart. You of all people should know how you feel and what you've told me. Maybe you're just not ready for change. Maybe she's not the one clinging on. Maybe it's you. Maybe it was just infatuation. Something new.
把手放开不问一句 Say Goodbye
当作最后一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡 今后都不管
只要你能愉快
Confirm + Guarantee
Yeah!! I don't have to do auh!! Yeahhhhhhhhhh
I'm going to Cape Town! Time to charge my camera. =0)
But that also means I'll be working continuously for many many days and you all won't get to see me. That's okie right? Since I don't wanna see someone also. Sigh...
*grateful*
I'm going to Cape Town! Time to charge my camera. =0)
But that also means I'll be working continuously for many many days and you all won't get to see me. That's okie right? Since I don't wanna see someone also. Sigh...
*grateful*
Emotional Rollercoasters
I know what I've been doing for the past 8 days already.
I'VE BEEN TRYING MY FREAKING BEST TO CHANGE FLIGHT!
My COF was rejected this morning and that girl did not even bother to tell me! Luckily I checked and when I smsed to ask if there were any 345 she did not even reply! I always try to help. Why no one help me...
So i reposted the flight and while i was busy smsing everyone at 1+am in the morning, this girl offered me Cape Town. I've always wanted to go there! But it comes with a 2-sector KL on 4th and I really needed 4th off badly. Sigh i hope it all works out.
I'm seriously tired of staring at the screen and scrolling and double-checking that I've not smsed someone already cos I don't wanna bother/piss people off. Cos i'm sure I wouldn't want to be constantly bugged like that too. I think i'm quite nice so... PLEASE HELP ME!
Boohooooooooooooo...
Tmrw's the day. Should I do it? How should I do it?
I'm sure if you slice my heart right down the middle now, all you'll see is a mess of tangled knots.
Sigh...
Met Grace for dinner just now. I miss you honey..
I'VE BEEN TRYING MY FREAKING BEST TO CHANGE FLIGHT!
My COF was rejected this morning and that girl did not even bother to tell me! Luckily I checked and when I smsed to ask if there were any 345 she did not even reply! I always try to help. Why no one help me...
So i reposted the flight and while i was busy smsing everyone at 1+am in the morning, this girl offered me Cape Town. I've always wanted to go there! But it comes with a 2-sector KL on 4th and I really needed 4th off badly. Sigh i hope it all works out.
I'm seriously tired of staring at the screen and scrolling and double-checking that I've not smsed someone already cos I don't wanna bother/piss people off. Cos i'm sure I wouldn't want to be constantly bugged like that too. I think i'm quite nice so... PLEASE HELP ME!
Boohooooooooooooo...
Tmrw's the day. Should I do it? How should I do it?
I'm sure if you slice my heart right down the middle now, all you'll see is a mess of tangled knots.
Sigh...
Met Grace for dinner just now. I miss you honey..
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
不能说的秘密
Melody sang this song during our ktv session on Monday 18th that is. I took a pic of her secretly. Well it was a secret till the flash went off. Arghhh just realised it wasn't uploaded. Ah sigh another time then.
Somehow i can't add the song to my blog also. Here're the lyrics first.
冷咖啡離開了杯墊
我忍住的情緒在很後面
拼命想挽回的從前
在我臉上依舊清晰可見
最美的不是下雨天
是曾與你躲過雨的屋檐(oh~~)
回憶的畫面
在蕩著秋千 夢開始不甜
你說把愛漸漸放下會走更遠
又何必去改變 你說過的誓言
你用你的指尖
指示我說再見
想象你在身邊 在完全失去之前
你說把愛漸漸 放下會走更遠
或許命運的簽 只讓我們遇見
只讓我們相戀
這一季的秋天
飄落後才發現 這幸福的碎片
要我怎麼撿
Edited to add: I did it! But somehow paragraphing gives me a lot of problems. *frusturated*
Somehow i can't add the song to my blog also. Here're the lyrics first.
冷咖啡離開了杯墊
我忍住的情緒在很後面
拼命想挽回的從前
在我臉上依舊清晰可見
最美的不是下雨天
是曾與你躲過雨的屋檐(oh~~)
回憶的畫面
在蕩著秋千 夢開始不甜
你說把愛漸漸放下會走更遠
又何必去改變 你說過的誓言
你用你的指尖
指示我說再見
想象你在身邊 在完全失去之前
你說把愛漸漸 放下會走更遠
或許命運的簽 只讓我們遇見
只讓我們相戀
這一季的秋天
飄落後才發現 這幸福的碎片
要我怎麼撿
Edited to add: I did it! But somehow paragraphing gives me a lot of problems. *frusturated*
My First Leave
Hmm.. it's been almost 1 week. Kinda feel like I've done nothing though. I only remember waking up.. and falling asleep.. and missing you.. and wondering why.
Melody said I did stuff. My laser, nails and yeah this blog, i added.
But.. still feels empty. Like i'm waiting for something. For something to happen, to go away somewhere. That kinda feeling. Can't really describe it concisely though.
I'm actually so bored.. I did homework for my flight on Monday. Yup.. that's 5 days away. As if I cannot wait for my leave to be over right? Something like that. Work numbs me. Takes my mind off things. And i actually earn money instead of squandering it. Not bad eh...
Melody said I did stuff. My laser, nails and yeah this blog, i added.
But.. still feels empty. Like i'm waiting for something. For something to happen, to go away somewhere. That kinda feeling. Can't really describe it concisely though.
I'm actually so bored.. I did homework for my flight on Monday. Yup.. that's 5 days away. As if I cannot wait for my leave to be over right? Something like that. Work numbs me. Takes my mind off things. And i actually earn money instead of squandering it. Not bad eh...
Decided
I'm guessing the lack of news should be an indicator. I told Melody I've decided.
But have i really? I dunno. You all know i'm soft-hearted. But the more I read Karen's blog.. the places they've gone to, the things they've done. It'll always haunt me. Now I don't even wanna go Disney anymore, much less with him.
Somehow I wanna believe him. That it's not love anymore. Which makes it worse. Cos then i'm fighting with memories. And i can't win. Cos it took a lot of time, opportunities and effort to make memories. And the beautiful thing bout them is that memories get beautified over time. Hurt and pain deadens, all things good flourish.
I was thinking to do it on Friday after he lands. I will go to the airport and hide 1 corner and see for myself. Then go to his place and settle things. But i'm afraid he'll be tired. But then again i'm more afraid he won't call me at all. So i guess I'd have to strike before I'm struck right? =(
I'm curious if he got me the Tivoli. Cos i have this pic of Tivoli on my desktop. Maybe he saw when he used my PC. But that doesn't matter anymore. If this is where we end I won't take it. It's just not me. And it's just not mine. I told Hermann several times that I can't lose what I never had.
I'm tired. I'm packing all my flights back to back. So that I won't think too much. And.. I know my direct Taipei is just after his. And we'll prolly handover. Will just keep it to myself. Will keep quiet bout the SQ28 also. I just wanna quietly make my exit.
But have i really? I dunno. You all know i'm soft-hearted. But the more I read Karen's blog.. the places they've gone to, the things they've done. It'll always haunt me. Now I don't even wanna go Disney anymore, much less with him.
Somehow I wanna believe him. That it's not love anymore. Which makes it worse. Cos then i'm fighting with memories. And i can't win. Cos it took a lot of time, opportunities and effort to make memories. And the beautiful thing bout them is that memories get beautified over time. Hurt and pain deadens, all things good flourish.
I was thinking to do it on Friday after he lands. I will go to the airport and hide 1 corner and see for myself. Then go to his place and settle things. But i'm afraid he'll be tired. But then again i'm more afraid he won't call me at all. So i guess I'd have to strike before I'm struck right? =(
I'm curious if he got me the Tivoli. Cos i have this pic of Tivoli on my desktop. Maybe he saw when he used my PC. But that doesn't matter anymore. If this is where we end I won't take it. It's just not me. And it's just not mine. I told Hermann several times that I can't lose what I never had.
I'm tired. I'm packing all my flights back to back. So that I won't think too much. And.. I know my direct Taipei is just after his. And we'll prolly handover. Will just keep it to myself. Will keep quiet bout the SQ28 also. I just wanna quietly make my exit.
Moving?? Where?????
I just sat down and had dinner with Mommy, Daddy and Andrew. Yes yes I was home for dinner. Surprise! *yawn*
Anyway Daddy dropped a bombshell. And he did it so nonchalantly I thought he was talking bout something else until i heard ".... we should move house...."
*DING DING*
Hello!!! FInally? But well i've grown used to the house and all our junk. Okok mine anyway *blushes* But this is a real good location and I like it! I like it that my bubble tea is a 7-min walk away. We're near to the MRT though I hardly use it. Well it's a good-to-have-around thing isn't it? *pout* I like it that it's pretty quiet and cabs are available anytime of the day. Even Hermann agrees on that.
Move.. where?? I hate it that our opinions are not sought but well this is their home isn't it? Theirs when we all marry and move out so I guess yup. It's really up to Daddy. But I'm gonna decorate my own room this time! Wahahaha.. Guess what? It's gonna be really really MINIMALISTIC.
Hmm haven't thought of anything but am gonna get a Samsung Plasma? Ehhh.. i think 32" would be a good size? I never liked super huge screens though. Yes i'm weird and no it's none of your business. =p
And then I'm gonna get new cupboards in a dark shade of brown and prolly change my bed too. Hmmm and I'm gonna paint my walls off-white and do something on it. Maybe I should start reading Ling's Homes and Gardens hehe.
Ahhh I miss Lukie. He's coming back from Seattle at midnight tmrw. But Ling told Shyan no need to go airport so i guess i won't be able to see Luke anymore. *sob* Shyan's leaving on 22nd so I'm meeting him tmrw for lunch. Gonna give him a treat so see what he wants to eat tmrw. But I warned him that he cannot laugh at me (my spotty cheeks). To that he replied: Laugh at u what? Awwww he's always sweet. It's my loss. Wishing him all the best and that everything will be smooth for him. Best instructor, good weather and with a bit of luck, check out asap.
Anyway Daddy dropped a bombshell. And he did it so nonchalantly I thought he was talking bout something else until i heard ".... we should move house...."
*DING DING*
Hello!!! FInally? But well i've grown used to the house and all our junk. Okok mine anyway *blushes* But this is a real good location and I like it! I like it that my bubble tea is a 7-min walk away. We're near to the MRT though I hardly use it. Well it's a good-to-have-around thing isn't it? *pout* I like it that it's pretty quiet and cabs are available anytime of the day. Even Hermann agrees on that.
Move.. where?? I hate it that our opinions are not sought but well this is their home isn't it? Theirs when we all marry and move out so I guess yup. It's really up to Daddy. But I'm gonna decorate my own room this time! Wahahaha.. Guess what? It's gonna be really really MINIMALISTIC.
Hmm haven't thought of anything but am gonna get a Samsung Plasma? Ehhh.. i think 32" would be a good size? I never liked super huge screens though. Yes i'm weird and no it's none of your business. =p
And then I'm gonna get new cupboards in a dark shade of brown and prolly change my bed too. Hmmm and I'm gonna paint my walls off-white and do something on it. Maybe I should start reading Ling's Homes and Gardens hehe.
Ahhh I miss Lukie. He's coming back from Seattle at midnight tmrw. But Ling told Shyan no need to go airport so i guess i won't be able to see Luke anymore. *sob* Shyan's leaving on 22nd so I'm meeting him tmrw for lunch. Gonna give him a treat so see what he wants to eat tmrw. But I warned him that he cannot laugh at me (my spotty cheeks). To that he replied: Laugh at u what? Awwww he's always sweet. It's my loss. Wishing him all the best and that everything will be smooth for him. Best instructor, good weather and with a bit of luck, check out asap.
Someone Loves Me
Yipeeeeeeeeeee i finally changed my flights!!
Okie it's not official YET cos the last girl hasn't accepted the invitation and Control hasn't approved but i guess all should go well bah.
So for the month of March, I'm gonna be TWSS. Taiwanese Stewardess. =p Am gonna spend more time in Taipei than in SIN boy. Cos the SQ12 that i swopped for, i swopped again for 11-days TPE LAX. Christy is on the flight so I'd have company! The downside is that... Karen is on it too. Yup.. I'm trying to get Grace to swop on the same flight for moral support. =(
2-3 Taipei
5-15 Taipei - LA
21-25 Taipei - LA work up pax back
Yeah.. u see! Apart from a CGK and CMB all taipei! So my dearest 2 buddies reading this, u guys got anything to buy in taipei can order now! =) Will try and give away off days and change away the last TPE-LAX though.
Oopsie.. Just realised means can't get duvet covers for Bro already. And i just took order last night! Wahahaha paiseh...
I'm so happy wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I finally did it! No more headaches and scrolling. Yay!!!!!!!!!
PS: 62 hours and 22 minutes. =( I was so sure you'd msg before takeoff. Guess I was wrong. I AM wrong. =(
Okie it's not official YET cos the last girl hasn't accepted the invitation and Control hasn't approved but i guess all should go well bah.
So for the month of March, I'm gonna be TWSS. Taiwanese Stewardess. =p Am gonna spend more time in Taipei than in SIN boy. Cos the SQ12 that i swopped for, i swopped again for 11-days TPE LAX. Christy is on the flight so I'd have company! The downside is that... Karen is on it too. Yup.. I'm trying to get Grace to swop on the same flight for moral support. =(
2-3 Taipei
5-15 Taipei - LA
21-25 Taipei - LA work up pax back
Yeah.. u see! Apart from a CGK and CMB all taipei! So my dearest 2 buddies reading this, u guys got anything to buy in taipei can order now! =) Will try and give away off days and change away the last TPE-LAX though.
Oopsie.. Just realised means can't get duvet covers for Bro already. And i just took order last night! Wahahaha paiseh...
I'm so happy wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I finally did it! No more headaches and scrolling. Yay!!!!!!!!!
PS: 62 hours and 22 minutes. =( I was so sure you'd msg before takeoff. Guess I was wrong. I AM wrong. =(
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
NRT-LAX
Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!! Some kind soul agreed to take my DXB DME for her SQ12. Am so happy i could have danced!
Allowance pretty much the same somemore. Couldn't have asked for any better. Thank you whoever loves me up there!
Must remember to buy duvet covers for Leonard.
Now.. my AUH... Hmmmmmmm
Allowance pretty much the same somemore. Couldn't have asked for any better. Thank you whoever loves me up there!
Must remember to buy duvet covers for Leonard.
Now.. my AUH... Hmmmmmmm
28 Brown Specks and 1100 Bucks
Yeah i finally lasered off the skin tags on my cheeks. Cost me 1100 bucks inclusive of Spectra for my nose and chin, some meds, eye cream and moisturizer. Not bad I would say.
Now comes the agonizing recovery period. Dr Ho (and he's pretty cute like they say) said being Asian our skin don't heal as well as Caucasians (damn!) and there is a 30% chance I might get Post-Inflammatory Pigmentation.
Meaning my skin tags will dark into brown spots. Yeeeeeks! Then i'd rather they be there and not so visible. But oh well i just went ahead and did it anyway. Like most other things in my life huh. 30% is pretty high!! Sigh.. So now i'm gonna religiously apply the meds and stay out of the sun and no makeup! Which means... you guys are not gonna be able to see me at all.
Well till i feel better (or look better) anyway.
Now comes the agonizing recovery period. Dr Ho (and he's pretty cute like they say) said being Asian our skin don't heal as well as Caucasians (damn!) and there is a 30% chance I might get Post-Inflammatory Pigmentation.
Meaning my skin tags will dark into brown spots. Yeeeeeks! Then i'd rather they be there and not so visible. But oh well i just went ahead and did it anyway. Like most other things in my life huh. 30% is pretty high!! Sigh.. So now i'm gonna religiously apply the meds and stay out of the sun and no makeup! Which means... you guys are not gonna be able to see me at all.
Well till i feel better (or look better) anyway.
Half of the 28 spots. My left cheek.
Gross right?? Since when my lousy hp camera so sharp?? Butbut Melody always laughs at my U700 camera!
Crap.. i feel like i just dumped a pile of cash to make my life more difficult. But like i told Hermann. When i'm in a bad mood i just.... spend money. =p
Now who's fault is this????
Edited to add: Ever since i added the stoopid photo i can't get the paragraphs to space properly. Sigh...
Monday, February 18, 2008
My New Obsession
WHY??
You promised to call/sms me whenever possible. Not possible meh? When you're showering? When she's showering? Toilet? I dunno. It doesn't take much time to send ONE sms does it? =(
I read and re-read and re-read and re-read and re-read your smses.
"You loved him the most and you still have feelings for him. And I'm not anything to you. Go if you want."
If you really wanna know, Chris is offering me the world on a platter. His world that is. If i say I wanna get married now i think he'll buy a ring and propose tmrw. Yup and that's much much more than what I can say for you.
Me: I'm so sad after i keep reading the msg (see above). HOW CAN HE SAY THAT? ='(
Melody: I think maybe he doesn't love you at all lor. If not he won't let go so easily. If he loves you as much as he claims then why can he let you go and not karen.
Me: =( =(
Melody: Wait for him to come back lor
Me: And then what?
You see! Even an outsider can hit the nail on the head about what and how I feel instantly. That I don't match up. That your actions and your words don't tally.
On the way back just now, I was contemplating whether to go surprise you at your place. I figured you'll prolly drop Karen off, go home shower then meet her again if necessary. I dunno. Am gonna buy Royce chocolates (though i dunno if you like chocs but well can give your family bah), print 1 sad pic of myself with PS I Miss You on it and leave it at your door which you will see when you come back. Then i'll be hiding in a corner and jump out to surprise you. Quite extra of me right? And i don't see what purpose it'll serve. It's been 24 hours since i asked you to leave me alone. I guess u really did.
Went to laser my face today but the laser was spoilt so rescheduled to tmrw. Did Spectra for my nose and chin though. This risky thing i'm doing to my face will set me back another 1000 bucks and i'm not even sure it helps. But oh well i've really wanted to do it for a long time. Another one of my obsessions.
And the next and longest one. My best buddy in the world. Kristy Quek. Finally got to talk to her in a very long time. Sister I'm really sorry bout your daddy and if there's anything I can do, please please let me know. U know i'll always be here for u. Guys come and go but you're always there. EVen though I might not see or even feel you there at times i KNOW you are and it makes all the difference really. Cannot tell you how much I love you and how sad I was when i thought u wanted to get on with your new life =(
You promised to call/sms me whenever possible. Not possible meh? When you're showering? When she's showering? Toilet? I dunno. It doesn't take much time to send ONE sms does it? =(
I read and re-read and re-read and re-read and re-read your smses.
"You loved him the most and you still have feelings for him. And I'm not anything to you. Go if you want."
If you really wanna know, Chris is offering me the world on a platter. His world that is. If i say I wanna get married now i think he'll buy a ring and propose tmrw. Yup and that's much much more than what I can say for you.
Me: I'm so sad after i keep reading the msg (see above). HOW CAN HE SAY THAT? ='(
Melody: I think maybe he doesn't love you at all lor. If not he won't let go so easily. If he loves you as much as he claims then why can he let you go and not karen.
Me: =( =(
Melody: Wait for him to come back lor
Me: And then what?
You see! Even an outsider can hit the nail on the head about what and how I feel instantly. That I don't match up. That your actions and your words don't tally.
On the way back just now, I was contemplating whether to go surprise you at your place. I figured you'll prolly drop Karen off, go home shower then meet her again if necessary. I dunno. Am gonna buy Royce chocolates (though i dunno if you like chocs but well can give your family bah), print 1 sad pic of myself with PS I Miss You on it and leave it at your door which you will see when you come back. Then i'll be hiding in a corner and jump out to surprise you. Quite extra of me right? And i don't see what purpose it'll serve. It's been 24 hours since i asked you to leave me alone. I guess u really did.
Went to laser my face today but the laser was spoilt so rescheduled to tmrw. Did Spectra for my nose and chin though. This risky thing i'm doing to my face will set me back another 1000 bucks and i'm not even sure it helps. But oh well i've really wanted to do it for a long time. Another one of my obsessions.
And the next and longest one. My best buddy in the world. Kristy Quek. Finally got to talk to her in a very long time. Sister I'm really sorry bout your daddy and if there's anything I can do, please please let me know. U know i'll always be here for u. Guys come and go but you're always there. EVen though I might not see or even feel you there at times i KNOW you are and it makes all the difference really. Cannot tell you how much I love you and how sad I was when i thought u wanted to get on with your new life =(
Time to go disinfect my nose.
Edited to add: Thank god for auto-save!!
I Don't Deserve This
Don't sms me. She checks. I miss you too. Will be back soon.
Should i actually be happy that u even msged? Why do you care? Is it so hard that you've fallen for someone else amidst all your other problems as a couple?
Usually my instincts are seldom wrong. You say you care but do not love. Caring is not like that. I can care for a person but i don't restrict/limit/oppress myself to care for that person i claim i don't love anymore while hurting myself and the other person that i claim i love. It's not like that. And it shouldn't be.
Somehow there're still a lot of things i don't get about this situation. Either u're deluding yourself or you're not completely honest with me. But then again you keep claiming you have nothing to hide from me. So what is it?
Responsibility? Guilt? U gonna carry her and hold her hand all the way? At some point in time we have to grow up. Help ourselves.
You can buy me all the LVs and Tiffanys in the world and it's not gonna make a difference. 4 more days till u come back, 25 more days for you to settle. I'm keeping my side of the bargain.
Melody said I should stop throwing everything into a relationship or a person till i'm really sure. Well i can't. I have to do that if i allow a person to get close to me. I can't juggle and see who comes out topdog. I can't. Unfortunately it really is all or nothing.
There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
But I dont show it show it
And then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you can see
Those times I don't believe it's right
I know know it
Cause you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
No room inside for me in your life
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
It's now or never
Should i actually be happy that u even msged? Why do you care? Is it so hard that you've fallen for someone else amidst all your other problems as a couple?
Usually my instincts are seldom wrong. You say you care but do not love. Caring is not like that. I can care for a person but i don't restrict/limit/oppress myself to care for that person i claim i don't love anymore while hurting myself and the other person that i claim i love. It's not like that. And it shouldn't be.
Somehow there're still a lot of things i don't get about this situation. Either u're deluding yourself or you're not completely honest with me. But then again you keep claiming you have nothing to hide from me. So what is it?
Responsibility? Guilt? U gonna carry her and hold her hand all the way? At some point in time we have to grow up. Help ourselves.
You can buy me all the LVs and Tiffanys in the world and it's not gonna make a difference. 4 more days till u come back, 25 more days for you to settle. I'm keeping my side of the bargain.
Melody said I should stop throwing everything into a relationship or a person till i'm really sure. Well i can't. I have to do that if i allow a person to get close to me. I can't juggle and see who comes out topdog. I can't. Unfortunately it really is all or nothing.
There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
But I dont show it show it
And then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you can see
Those times I don't believe it's right
I know know it
Cause you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
No room inside for me in your life
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
It's now or never
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Food Poisoning? Stomach Flu?
After i took meds for the diarrhea the nausea doesn't stop. And now i'm feeling feverish. I have this super painful ulcer on the tip of my tongue that's been bothering me for the past few days. I psycho-ly rubbed salt on it but it still didn't work. Boohooooo...
Hermann smsed me from the aircraft just now. I should feel happy i guess. But i'm in a super grouchy and self-pitying mood cos I'm sick and no one is here to care for me! ='(
Why do I always have to share??? I don't want to! Especially not on this!!
I want to sleep but i can't. Feeling weak and cold and unloved. Sob.
Hermann smsed me from the aircraft just now. I should feel happy i guess. But i'm in a super grouchy and self-pitying mood cos I'm sick and no one is here to care for me! ='(
Why do I always have to share??? I don't want to! Especially not on this!!
I want to sleep but i can't. Feeling weak and cold and unloved. Sob.
Valentine's Day
Somehow I'm always single on Vday. So i am forced.. i mean invited to celebrate International Friendship Day always.
Ju Shin Jung 14 Feb 2008
So cute right? They actually used a heart-shaped cutter.
Why Do People Not Want My Flights?
Boohoooooo i'm pleading! Sigh.. I guess my roster is good enough thanks to the peepz at Planning. BUT you're giving me all the wrong flights! Wrong wrong wrong!!
I have AUH-JED, DXB-DME and then TPE-LAX work up pax back.
Sounds good right? Except I don't do Middle East thank you very much.
Someone up there help me pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I always try to help others if i can *pout* I'm willing to top up almost to max and they have to consider. I even have to change away my turn for off days and top-up for that.
This is tiring...
I have AUH-JED, DXB-DME and then TPE-LAX work up pax back.
Sounds good right? Except I don't do Middle East thank you very much.
Someone up there help me pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I always try to help others if i can *pout* I'm willing to top up almost to max and they have to consider. I even have to change away my turn for off days and top-up for that.
This is tiring...
Sick.. I Think?
Didn't drink much yesterday. Melody, Joanne and Jeremy kept shifting positions cos no one wanna stand next to me during 5-10 cos i make them drink too much. Boohoo... Mel improved loads though. Thanks to me. Wahahaha..
I miss clubbing with Melody n Trillia.
Oh yeah and I saw this TCS guy . Well he was beside us for quite a while i think. Never did notice till i wanted to 'kop' the chair beside him. Then he said Xin Nian Kuai Le and toasted me. I think he wanted to talk but i couldn't be bothered. Come to think of it i don't even remember his name. Well he left when we go up and changed venue too. He looked a bit lonely. I would have asked him to join us if 1) I was in a better mood. 2) He would not think i'm a groupie.
So.. after clubbing i went for frog leg porridge at Geylang. Please please remind me never to order it with extra chilli again! Yeah i know i say that everytime and i'll do it again. lol. I had tears POURING down my cheeks! Haha.. what a sight! But hell no one knows me there so i don't bother. Hmmm even if they do i don't bother either.
Maybe that's my prob. I don't bother. Think about it.
Anyway so this morning i got up and went to grannie's. Came back with diarrhea and i feel nauseous. I blardy hope it's only food poisoning. If it's stomach flu i'm so dead. I hate stomach flu! It just makes you feel groggy and weak and everything u try to put in comes out which makes you even more weak. Arghhhhhhh...
And then.. I was a little mad this morning when my call finally connected. Somehow last night i know u guys kissed and made up. Can feel it in my bones. And from what I know of u, u would. Nevertheless, I'm glad you're okie. Even if it means i'm not. =( So.. u bought me a LV bag and it made her mad. Thanks but I don't see why u had to do that. Don't mean I don't appreciate it though. I just dunno wat's going on between you guys and I guess I shouldn't care too much.
Irene: Stop poking your nose into things you can't resolve. Or where it's not wanted anyway.
Wanzhen: Butbut it concerns me right?
Irene: Nah it's outta your hands. For now. Full-stop.
I wonder what bag you got me.... =p
I miss clubbing with Melody n Trillia.
Oh yeah and I saw this TCS guy . Well he was beside us for quite a while i think. Never did notice till i wanted to 'kop' the chair beside him. Then he said Xin Nian Kuai Le and toasted me. I think he wanted to talk but i couldn't be bothered. Come to think of it i don't even remember his name. Well he left when we go up and changed venue too. He looked a bit lonely. I would have asked him to join us if 1) I was in a better mood. 2) He would not think i'm a groupie.
So.. after clubbing i went for frog leg porridge at Geylang. Please please remind me never to order it with extra chilli again! Yeah i know i say that everytime and i'll do it again. lol. I had tears POURING down my cheeks! Haha.. what a sight! But hell no one knows me there so i don't bother. Hmmm even if they do i don't bother either.
Maybe that's my prob. I don't bother. Think about it.
Anyway so this morning i got up and went to grannie's. Came back with diarrhea and i feel nauseous. I blardy hope it's only food poisoning. If it's stomach flu i'm so dead. I hate stomach flu! It just makes you feel groggy and weak and everything u try to put in comes out which makes you even more weak. Arghhhhhhh...
And then.. I was a little mad this morning when my call finally connected. Somehow last night i know u guys kissed and made up. Can feel it in my bones. And from what I know of u, u would. Nevertheless, I'm glad you're okie. Even if it means i'm not. =( So.. u bought me a LV bag and it made her mad. Thanks but I don't see why u had to do that. Don't mean I don't appreciate it though. I just dunno wat's going on between you guys and I guess I shouldn't care too much.
Irene: Stop poking your nose into things you can't resolve. Or where it's not wanted anyway.
Wanzhen: Butbut it concerns me right?
Irene: Nah it's outta your hands. For now. Full-stop.
I wonder what bag you got me.... =p
Saturday, February 16, 2008
My Oh So Exciting Life
Well here I was, in my room, uploading pics from my lousy U700 to my PC when Melody called to go Zouk. Am feeling lazy, oily, fat and ugly sigh.
Was gonna stay home and contemplate the what-should-Hermann-do-with-his-life-and-me issue but well guess that's gonna be put on hold? Lemme check.. It's been 1 hr and 25mins since u went to give her her keys anyway. Being the clever person that I am i think you guys kissed and made up.
Sigh.. why do I bother anyway.
So should I go or not? If i go it'll just be us 3 gals and looking at our moods now we'll prolly proceed to get drunk. If i stay home i'll just be tweaking my blog, watch Taiwanese variety shows and stare at my phone periodically. Oh i just turned Chris down for movie but that's another issue for another day.
The latter sounds good huh? Sigh... Howhowhow??
Edited to add: Meeting in an hr. They'd better send me home if i get drunk.
Was gonna stay home and contemplate the what-should-Hermann-do-with-his-life-and-me issue but well guess that's gonna be put on hold? Lemme check.. It's been 1 hr and 25mins since u went to give her her keys anyway. Being the clever person that I am i think you guys kissed and made up.
Sigh.. why do I bother anyway.
So should I go or not? If i go it'll just be us 3 gals and looking at our moods now we'll prolly proceed to get drunk. If i stay home i'll just be tweaking my blog, watch Taiwanese variety shows and stare at my phone periodically. Oh i just turned Chris down for movie but that's another issue for another day.
The latter sounds good huh? Sigh... Howhowhow??
Edited to add: Meeting in an hr. They'd better send me home if i get drunk.
My First Post
Haven't been blogging for so long that I ermmmm forgot my old blog addresses and passwords. Yes the 's' is correct. I think i have hmmm about 4 or 5 blogs now. =p
Wanted to say it's a new year but well have been for a while now. Okok new lunar year? Crap. Fact is i'm staying home and twiddling my thumbs and looking for something to do.
Nah.. actually i have a lot of things on my mind. Human psyche and emotions are so fascinating isn't it? Maybe that's why i took psychology in the first place. Which, i still maintain, was the worst thing i ever did. Wait... Dubai is the worst. No second, which makes Psychology third. Okok so i've made a lot of bad decisions in my life lol.
Yeah.. come to think of it. I think that just about sums up my life isn't it? There'll be no links to friends' webbies on this cos.. I've no friends left? Well i'm bad at retaining friends. That's a fact.
Anyway this would just be an outlet to my pent-up emotions and frustrations. Who knows.. Being the psycho that i am, maybe reading my own posts will let me psycho-analyse myself and solve the problem. Hmmm sounds promising already.
But heck.. what's the point of a blog if no one reads it right? Well i know there're a lot of advocates for "my blog is my personal space'. That's BS. Nothing is ever personal online. We even censor what we write on our blogs!
Well if ever any of u are smart or lucky or prolly unfortunate enough to chance on my page then go ahead. Read and comment and help me figure out my complicated life.
That's enough for a first post.
Wanted to say it's a new year but well have been for a while now. Okok new lunar year? Crap. Fact is i'm staying home and twiddling my thumbs and looking for something to do.
Nah.. actually i have a lot of things on my mind. Human psyche and emotions are so fascinating isn't it? Maybe that's why i took psychology in the first place. Which, i still maintain, was the worst thing i ever did. Wait... Dubai is the worst. No second, which makes Psychology third. Okok so i've made a lot of bad decisions in my life lol.
Yeah.. come to think of it. I think that just about sums up my life isn't it? There'll be no links to friends' webbies on this cos.. I've no friends left? Well i'm bad at retaining friends. That's a fact.
Anyway this would just be an outlet to my pent-up emotions and frustrations. Who knows.. Being the psycho that i am, maybe reading my own posts will let me psycho-analyse myself and solve the problem. Hmmm sounds promising already.
But heck.. what's the point of a blog if no one reads it right? Well i know there're a lot of advocates for "my blog is my personal space'. That's BS. Nothing is ever personal online. We even censor what we write on our blogs!
Well if ever any of u are smart or lucky or prolly unfortunate enough to chance on my page then go ahead. Read and comment and help me figure out my complicated life.
That's enough for a first post.
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