Relief...?

I have this very strong feeling that relief will be the top most emotion for you. That you don't have to lie or worry or juggle anymore. My friends all feel that you're just getting rid of me. I dun wanna think that.

I guess it doesan't really matter to me why u keep pushing me away. The fact is u did. I remember i told you once that I'll never leave you... until the day you dun want me anymore. U said u won't. But it happened.

Well i already said what i wanted to. I know the situation. I'm aware of the can-s and cannot-s. But if you really think that I can put up with everything just cos I accepted the situation then u're wrong. I'm human. You are too. Just like u know what u're doing is wrong. Why do u do it anyway?

Nevertheless... yup it's over. I didn't get drunk. I thought i would stay in bed and like cry for 2 days but i didn't. I just accepted it. Cos i think i've clung on enough. I've tried to convince you to hang on with me long enough. Everytime i feel uneasy or need assurance I end up persuading you to stay with me. Funnie isn't it...

Till now i can't bear to delete your msgs. Maybe not today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after. But yup I know 1 day i will.

I tink I got called up for a reason. I met Celest. And cos of the things we shared... that night was the first time in a very long while i actually went for brekkie after partying. And i sent my frenz home too. And i had the courage to accept it and not fight it when u said let's end this.

I dun think i'm ready to walk together with God again yet. But He came back into my life in a very unobtrusive way. I'm not sure that He'll stay for good or that I won't falter again. But i still firmly believe... that things happened for a reason.

You showed me that i can love someone again. It's just whether I want to or not. Thank you for everything.